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 1/14/2010 6:33 AM
 

I'm conflicted. I was raised to believe in God and thought I did all of my life until recently. Now I'm having doubts. There's so much that doesnt' make any sense, but I have made such a public show of my belief. I'm afraid that I'll look like a hypocrite, liar, fool, etc. to my family and friends, even those who read my blog. So I go on pretending all the while that I'm in deep, deep doubt.

What should I do? What can I do? How can I tell if my doubts are real or simply some form of self-checking mechanism or something? If I admit I don't believe, there's no going back, but if I ignore what I feel I slip into a deeper depression about it all.

Any ideas, help, support will be appreciated.

Thanks,

Jim

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 1/29/2010 3:45 PM
 

I'm with you in that I've recently left the Church myself. My suggestion would be to not talk about religion for a little while and then introduce points very slowly to your family/friends/readers. Let it slowly add up. Obviously you've done yourself no favors by making a show of your religion in the past, but it happens. If you do it slowly, though, by introducing one point of contention and mentioning curiosity about it, then you have the opportunity to keep doing it slowly, opening the door without much of a creak until it's obvious what's happening and you can step out.

But that's just my suggestion -- I'm not sure that a lot of people around me know I'm agnostic. My mom and grandma know on the surface, and my dad knows I'm "questioning", but it's really only my close friends that know I'm full-on agnostic. Thus, maybe I'm not the best source, but at the same time I was raised in a somewhat religious but not uber-religious setting.

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 7/30/2010 10:54 PM
 

I was in your shoes about two years ago. I had run across some skeptical podcasts, and had been listening and thinking a lot. I spent some time talking to my husband about things and he took that "well, that's all very interesting" stance to see where this was all going. I remember one night being in the car with my husband and in a rush of panic saying to him "I think that maybe everything I've ever believed is wrong." I was pretty freaked out. I was quiet about all of this for about a year. I talked to people on forums, read blogs and thought a lot. I was really afraid because I had always been told that 'losing my faith' was a bad thing. It took me awhile to accept that thinking for myself and coming to an alternate conclusion was not actually losing anything.

As far as letting people around me know, it was a slow process. I didn't use the word 'athiest' for two years. I am now comfortable enough to identify as an athiest. But I also realize that the fact that I don't personally believe in god doesn't mean that it is impossible for god to exist. I also realize that I have no right to try to convert anyone, any more than religious people have a right to convert me. When my friends and family realized that I believe what I do, I am comfortable belieiving as I do, and I am not going to try to attach their beliefs, all was well.

Questioning your beliefs is not an all or nothing venture. There is nothing wrong with doubting. There is nothing wrong with questioning. And taking the position of "I don't know" will not be threatening to anyone around you. If those who are close to you try to convince you that you are wrong to doubt, just thank them for their concern and keep thinking. As long as you don't attack their postion, they will probably accept yours - whatever that turns out to be.

There are no right or wrong answers. And not knowing is not bad or wrong. The truth is that no-one really knows anything for sure. So keep asking questions.

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